I replied with a smile, “Let’s go to CVS.” I was clearly distracted, and Michael asked what I was thinking about. The small possibility filled my mind with excitement-we’d recently decided to start trying for a baby. I was in my own world I pulled out my phone to count my days again. Then it occurred to me that my period wasn’t only due, it might actually be late. I paused and sat back in my chair to take a breath.

When it arrived and I took my first few bites, I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I ordered a deconstructed peanut-butter-and-jelly cheesecake that I excitedly waited to try. Our ride dropped us off to enjoy the rest of the night.

He surprised me with a dessert-and-wine reservation for Valentine’s Day. Following the ceremony, I figured we would rest before our flight the next morning, but Michael had other plans. Each time, I breathed a sigh of relief and returned to my seat. While there, I remembered that my monthly visitor was due and I excused myself to use the restroom several times throughout the night, paranoid I might find a red stain on the back of my dress. I remember feeling annoyed with myself that evening-in a rushed week filled with commitments, I’d packed an off-white dress to wear to the event. We’d traveled there for the Frederick Douglass 200 Awards Gala, held in the Library of Congress. On February 14, 2019, my husband, Michael, and I were in Washington, D.C. Our mothers were the flames and we were the blaze. Our mothers were the embers and we were the sparks.

Our mothers were the ashes and we were the light.

Anna malaika tubbs the three mothers